The Masks we wear
by Orlandoinabedsheet
Summary: It’s Lily’s birthday but she’s not the only one looking forward to a special party. Slash.
1. Plans beginning

Title: The Masks we wear

Author: CC (aka Orlandoinabedsheet)

Rating: PG-13

Archive: Temporarily at FF.net

Summary: It's Lily's birthday but she's not the only one looking forward to a special party. 

Disclaimer: Not mine. 

Authors note: Give me Love and I let you see more, as much more than is posted is finished. I'm only posting it here as it's feeling lonely on my hard drive. 

Lily smiles as James pulls her into his lap, "James, you know I happen to be a big girl, fully capable of sitting in a _seat_."

"But Love, you're the youngest, the baby if you will," James defends. 

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" Lily asks irritated. 

"But we mean it lovingly Lils, honest," Sirius promises her. 

"And there are worse things to be teased about," Remus adds. 

Peter says nothing, mostly as he was the baby prior to Lily's addition to the group and feels for her but won't risk drawing attention to himself. 

"Oh I give up," Lily groans in annoyance. "Between you lot and Petunia it's a wonder I don't have a complex already."

"I'm sorry Love, I'll stop," James tells her sincerely. 

"You've reminded me just the same. Mum's throwing me a costume party for my birthday. It should be fun but I only have a couple of muggle friends so Mum's agreed to let me invite all of you. It's the tenth at six o'clock. Please say you'll come," She's lost all of the previous annoyance at their antics. 

James speaks up first, "I'll be there Love, I promise."

Sirius smiles, "I'll do my best Lils. Da might not be too keen since I'm spending two weeks at Remus' next month."

"I don't know Lils..." Remus says reluctantly. 

"Come on Remus, it's a costume party, no one has to know it's you, not even us," Lily says encouragingly. 

"I'll ask," He assures her softly. 

"Peter?" Lily asks expectantly.

"Can't. Mum and I are leaving for Spain with Aunt Ruby on Saturday," Peter explains with an apologetic smile. "But happy 15th Lily, I'll owl over your present before we leave."

"Thank you Peter. I'm sorry you can't come to the party," Lily tells him.

"So what is our lovely lady doing for the costume portion of the event?" Sirius questions amused. 

"I don't know yet. All the ideas I've had so far seem too obvious. Maybe I'll go as a tiger," Lily offers thoughtfully. 

"Then James will have to dress as a deer to match," Remus teases. 

"Not funny Remus," James complains. 

"Don't listen to Jamie, he's just uptight, it was gold," Sirius assures him. 

"And what of you Sirius? Will you come as your reflection?" Lily teases. 

"I think not Lils, too much beauty for mere Muggles," He winks at her. "I think I'll remain anonymous myself. Full mask and all. Or I'll go as Cleopatra if I can find an acceptable Marc Antony."

"Going to ask them to fall on their sword for you Sirius?" Remus asks him. 

"For the right Marc Antony I'd think about changing that bit of history," Sirius suggests grinning. 

Lily laughs at the utter confusion on James' face. 

"The result of a home based primary education, that's what that look is," Peter comments chuckling.

"It would take too long to explain Jamie," Sirius says patting his shoulder. 

"And you Remus? A dashing young King Arthur perhaps? Or Robin Hood? Or the Prince Charming of oh so many stories?" Lily presses grinning. 

"You forget Dear Lady, you promised me my anonymity," Remus reminds her.

"A villain then? Bandit or Pirate perhaps?" James asks, joining Lily's pursuit.

"You both forget Remus' love of Muggle literature, I'm sure he'll surprise us all," Sirius announces grinning.

"Just remember, both of you, masks or no you're responsible for any hearts you break," Lily warns.

"I never break any hearts Lils," Remus protests. 

"What on earth ever gave you that impression?" Lily asks genuinely surprised. 

"Haven't you ever seen the look on a girl's face just after you decline her offer of a date?" James asks looking at him in disbelief.

"No I haven't," Remus admits. 

"They tend to look as though they've walked square into a brick wall," Peter offers helpfully. 

"Oh. I really didn't know," Remus sounds guilty.

"We all know you don't mean to hurt anyone," Sirius reassures him.

"Sirius is right, though I have to say I don't understand it," Lily comments.

Remus blushes in anticipation of the teasing he's about to receive. James smiles, "Haven't we told you Love? Our dear scholar has a crush and he'll accept no other."

"Is that so?" Lily asks Remus curiously. She takes his silence as a yes and smiles, "What's her name?"

Remus turns scarlet but stays silent.

"He won't tell," Peter informs her sounding disappointed. 

"And believe me we've tried tirelessly to get him to," James imparts. 

"Jamie's just mad. He told Sirius he had a crush on you and never heard the end of it," Remus explains to Lily. 

"No wonder you won't tell them then. Would you tell me if I promise to keep it quiet?" Lily asks eagerly.

Still blushing Remus shakes his head, "I don't think so Lils. It's not that I don't trust you it's just that the more people who know a secret the less time it stays secret."

"A secret eh? Must be some crush," Lily says looking impressed.

"Bit more than a crush really," Remus responds before he can stop himself. 

"Really? What is it then? Oh you don't have to say who but if it's not a crush, what is it?" Lily presses curiously.

"Love, okay, now leave me be," Remus implores.

"I could help you know, if you'd tell me who," Lily tells him as the train arrives at King's Cross.

"I don't need help Lils, but thank you anyway," Remus tells her as they depart the train and collect their things. 

"See you in the fall," Peter class over his shoulder as he makes his way to the barrier.

"I want you to come meet mum James," Lily tells him before turning to Remus and Sirius, "See you boys next week."

"See you lads soon, don't get punished too harshly and miss the party," James warns.

"You're the only one who's that foolish James," Sirius says snickering.

"Goodbye Jamie, Lils," Remus says with a smile.

When James and Lily are through Remus and Sirius move to a bench out of the main flow of traffic. The other students are filing out quickly and no one is paying them much attention. After a moments silence Remus asks curiously, "Would you really go as Cleopatra if I dressed as Marc Antony Siri?"

"Would you fall on your sword for me?" Sirius asks grinning. 

Remus chuckles, "No but if you ask nicely I might fall on yours."

"If I ask at all you mean. Unfortunately Dad's waiting for me," He kisses Remus deeply. "I'll see you next week ceadsearc. Write to me when you pick your costume."

"I will," Remus promises giving him another kiss, "Miss you already."

Sirius stands and starts to push the trolley with his luggage on it toward the barrier. He stops suddenly, abandons the trolley and runs back to Remus, "Love you."

"Love you too Siri, always, now go before your dad worries himself to death," He pulls Sirius in for another kiss and reluctantly removes his hand from where it's tangled in Sirius' hair as he pulls away.

"And you better find your mum, she'll have kittens if you don't turn up soon," Sirius warns as he hurries off, pausing at the barrier to blow one last kiss.

"If only she'd understand what I feel for you," He murmurs after his retreating boyfriend.


	2. Moments at home

A/N: This is the next bit, after this if the review count stays low you can count on a bit of a wait for more. 

It had taken three days and more useless promises than he'd ever made before in his life but his mother had agreed, at last, to let him go to Lily's party. He'd been trying not to laugh for the last fifteen minutes at her lecture about behaving himself among all those girls. If she only knew. But it did remind him of another problem, what costume to wear to the party. Though he knew Sirius had only been joking about coming in drag he didn't doubt he'd find some way to match whatever costume Remus chose. He smiled at the thought. Perhaps Sirius had an idea, after all he had made that cryptic comment about muggle books. 

He smiled wider remembering Easter break. The others had gone home and they'd been blessedly alone, a condition his mother's social climbing would be sure to duplicate next month. They'd spent long hours in bed but they'd also spent time out on the grounds curled up together in the fine weather reading. But then nothing they'd read together offered any costume ideas. 

"I'm serious Remus, stop smirking like that, I don't want to receive any letters about how you've behaved ungentlemanly," His mother warns him bringing him back to the present. 

"Mother, I have no intention of misbehaving, I swear to you, I'm just contemplating my costume. And wondering what my friends will wear," Remus explains. 

"Yes, about that, I'm busy all this week dear, you'll have to go to Diagon Alley yourself. I'll give you some money after dinner," She says starting toward the front door where her guests are arriving. 

"Yes Mother," He called after her more out of course than any belief that she'd hear him. He made his way into the study still pondering a costume. He penned a brief note to Lily saying he'd come to the party and then he took a blank sheet of parchment upstairs to write to Sirius. 

"Dear Siri,

Mum's agreed to let me go to the party at last but I have no idea what costume to wear. Any ideas Love? I got the feeling you had something in mind on the train but I simply can't guess what it is. I miss you terribly. The bed's too cold at night without you. And if I have to meet the eligible young niece of one more of mother's friends I'm going to tell her something she's not ready to hear. If only she'd listen to grandmother that it's 'too soon' for all that. But then Mum's never listened to anyone, least of all me. Promise you won't let her chase you off, Please Siri? 

Love you and see you soon,

Remus"

It didn't say half what he wanted too but if Sirius' father read it there was already more than enough in it to ensure he canceled Sirius visit next month.

Sirius chuckles as he reads Remus' letter and Declan looks at him curiously, "What is it Mac?"

"Remus is complaining that his Mum is making him meet ever girl that's even remotely related to one of her friends, and he's gotten a bit colorful about how much he appreciates it," Sirius explains.

"She always did seem like more than a bit of a pain," Declan says making a face. "But he's your friend you shouldn't laugh at his troubles." 

"I'm not laughing at his problem with his mum, just the way he's worded his displeasure Da. Believe me I'd never think that something that upsets Remus this much is funny," Sirius tells him honestly. "Now when he's embarrassed and turns the most adorable shade of red that is downright hilarious but it's not the same thing, is it?"

Declan looks at him oddly, since when does his son use words like adorable to describe anything, "What ever you say mac."

"Everything alright Da? You're looking at me oddly. Is there something you wanted to tell me?" Sirius asks curiously.

"No mac, but is there something you want to tell me?" Declan returns cautiously.

"Like what?" Sirius evades the question, he's definitely hiding something.

"Anything at all. Surely there must be something that's happened since August that you haven't written to me about," Declan suggests to see what his son will come up with. "Perhaps the reason you're so eager to go to this party?"

"Because how often do you get to go to a muggle costume party, honestly? And I love Lils like the sister I never had. And the more chances to see my friends the merrier I always say," Sirius gives him a roguish grin as he says this.

"And that's all?" Declan says seriously doubting that's the whole reason.

"That's not enough reason?" Sirius seems confused by that.

"It's enough reason to want to go but you're positively bouncing off the walls about it," Declan explains calmly.

"I'm always bouncing off the walls Da," Sirius says laughing.

"Keep your secrets Sirius, but I will find out eventually you know," Declan warns. "And as I already have my suspicions maybe it's best if you tell me now."

Sirius suddenly looks nervous, "Look I know it's a bit of a surprise and all. I wouldn't change it if I could but it's not something I was looking for either..."

"It might help if you told me what it is Sirius," Declan pushes gently though he's fairly sure he knows. 

"I'm trying Da," Sirius complains nervously. "I probably should have told you last summer when you asked if there was a special girl in my life but I didn't know how to say it..."

"Breath mac," Declan reminds gently.

Sirius takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair. "What I mean to say is there is a special someone in my life- there was long before I knew what any of it meant- but you said at the time 'girl,'" He pauses as if expecting an outburst. When one doesn't come he continues cautiously, "I've been seeing Remus for a little over a year and a half. This party is going to be our first truly public date though no one will actually know it's us." 

"A year and a half?" Declan says in disbelief. "You've never kept a secret from me for more than three weeks before unless you were at school."

"I've only ever had one I thought might upset you enough to make you hate me..." Sirius almost whispers.

Declan looks at him with a worried expression on his face, "What have I always told you mac?"

"That you'll always love me, no matter what I do," Sirius recites hopefully.

"Who you chose to date will never change how much I care about you. But I do want to talk to you about this," Declan tells him pouring them each another cup of tea. "Does his mother know?"

"No, no one knows. But his mum is the reason we're scared to tell people. He knows her opinion on the matter and it's not encouraging..." Sirius explains softly. 

"But she's protective of him?" Declan asks. 

"Very," Sirius assures, leaving out the fact that this is mostly in theory. 

"And you promise me you'll behave yourself?" Declan tilts his head to the left a bit as he always does when something is important.

"Yes, I promise we'll behave," Sirius feels bad though it's the truth because he knows Declan means to include no fooling around in 'behaving' but he has no such intention.

"Then you can still stay with him as planned," Declan says with a soft sigh that suggests he knows his love of his son is out weighing his better judgment. "So you say he's special?"

"He's the one Da. When I kiss him it's like the whole world could end at that very moment and it would be okay because I'm right where I belong," He smiles, "and when I get lost in his eyes I never want to find my way back again."

Declan chuckles, "Then I suppose I should be grateful you tore yourself away long enough to come home, eh mac?"

"I'll always come home Da, I promise you that. I just hope I won't always have to come home alone. I'd miss the way the banshee scares the muggles up the hill. And you know you make the best apple and barley pudding around, but most of all Da you know I love you, I couldn't stay away, not even for Remus. Not that he'd ever ask it of me."

"And he's always welcome here Sirius, don't you worry about that," Declan tells him with a smile. "Now go up to your room and write back to him already. "

Sirius gets up and hugs him before leaving the room, "Thanks for understanding Dad."

"No thanks required," Declan tells him as he leaves the room. 

Sirius hurries up to his room with Remus' letter in hand. He pulls some parchment and ink from his desk, collects a quill from the drawer and drops down on his bed. 

"Dear Remus, 

I'm glad you're coming to the party Love, it wouldn't be nearly so much fun without you. Though I am sorry to hear she's trying to pawn you off on every girl for miles. It's enough to turn a boy territorial. I miss you too, more than I can say. And no one could ever 'chase me off' where you're concerned Remus. I told you I could never keep a secret from Da, and it turns out that this is no different. He knew there was a special reason I was so excited about this party and asked me what was going on. I told him and he took it well. He hasn't even canceled our plans next month. It's one obstacle down at least. As for the party, yes I did have an idea about our costumes. Frankly I'm hurt that you don't remember ceadsearc. But then perhaps you discounted it because I didn't like Malory's telling. Or because they're historical figures. I was thinking we might go to the party as Arthur and Lancelot, after all swearing my life, and my sword, to you sounds like a most agreeable situation to me. What do you say?

With all my heart,

Siri" 

He brings the letter downstairs to Alexis, the family owl and slowly enters the kitchen, an unasked question still at the forefront of his mind. "Da, can I ask you something?"

"You know you can mac," Declan reminds him smiling. 

"What would Mama think of this- of me?" His voice shakes and the use of the word mama betrays how important this question is to him. 

"Come here," Declan instructs softly, cursing the world which can make his bright cheerful son this frightened that it's not all right to be who he is. "You were the light in your mathair's life, that's why she named you after a star," He strokes his son's hair as he would when he had nightmares as a child. "She never hated anyone or anything and there is no way she'd make an exception for you on that. There's never anything wrong with being who you are mac. And don't let anyone tell you anything different." 

"Thank you Athair, I needed that," His word choice was once again a sign of how heavily his mother was weighing on his mind.

Quick Glossary of Gaelic terms 

mac- son

ceadsearc- sweetheart

mathair- mother

athair- father


End file.
